...

I was just told that my parents are getting seperated and... I have no idea hiw I feel...
I've been living on my own for a few years, so it's not something that is going to influence me greatly. They are still friends, it was a mutual decission, no one got hurt, so I guess all that is as good as it can be... And I understand it I suppose, I'm not angry, not even particularly sad... Just... Sort of empty.
It is sad I guess... I just don't feel sad...

My parents have always sort of been the couple I looked to when people were going "everyone is getting divorced these days" or "if you meet young, it's never gonna last!"... I could always say "Yes, well, it -can- work out, look at my parents, they met when my mom was 18, had their first kid when she was 21 (my dad is 2 years older, do the math), and they're still together, and have 5 kids now"...
Now that's not true anymore. It is not because I care about the image really, I couldn't care less... It's more... Will things change for me? Will I lose trust in love, in the "untill deaht do us apart"? Hopefully not. I don't think so. Right now, I feel even more determined to find the right guy and -make it work-. Forever? If it can... We'll see I guess...

I really don't know how I feel... It's not lifechanging for me in any way... It's not big drama, it's not extremely emotional... It's just... strange...

So, looks like I am now 100% single again... This guy I've been sort of having a fling with lately desided that he isn't ready for anything...
Of course it's sad cause I really liked him, but I was kind of prepared for it, and things have been quite complicated lately, so a bit of it is actually a relief... Just to know where you stand at least.
So for the first time in ages, I feel like I can write about it without feeling whiny. Cause I'm not.. I'm actually feeling okay.

Guess it's just about enjoying it while it last, being single I mean ^^ I used to like it a lot before I got my bf, should be able to dig that feeling again :)

Dreaming,,,

I realised that I don't really like dreaming. Yoiu might wonder if it's because I have many nightmares or unpleasent dreams? Not really, I think my dreams are pretty neutral... I just don't like it.
I can't say exactly what it is, I just realised that for a while now, I've been slightly annoyed every day when I wake up.
Perhaps it's a question about control? That I don't like not having any influence over what happens? I don't know, I'm not a huge controlfreak, so it would be kind of strange if it is...

The truth is, I really don't know what it is. It just annoyes me. Not much, I know there isn't really anything to do about it, just a little... Enough for waking up not being something I enjoy... Perhaps I should start setting an alarm, then I won't really have time to be annoyed over dreaming...

I think I dreamt that I couldn't sleep last night. I mean, I thought I couldn't sleep, but right now, it seem kind of unreal, my memory of... Not sleeping... So perhaps it was just a dream?
Now wouldn't that be annoying?

"I'm sorry.."

Now, the title probably indicates, that this is gonna be some sort of an appology. It's not. It's gonna be about politeness.
I have a couple of times been told that I'm too polite (which is actually funny, since I'm also slightly arrogant, funny how those two things can combine).
My friend used to make fun of me, because when ever a car stopped for me at the street, I would do this little bow thing. Not really a bow, I would just my upper body slightly and incline my head. I'm not sure why, I just wanted to show them that I appreciated it I guess.
When I worked at Mc. Donalds adn was standing in the drive in, the other people wearing headsets would usually joke about how overly eager, helpful and polite I'd sound in the speakers.
And when I worked at another resturant and was being taught how to do things, one of the waiters would get extremely annoyed at me, telling me to stop saying "I'm sorry" every time I did something wrong, as she said it was natural to do things wrong in the beginning. Well, I know it is, and it wasn't really because I was sorry. That's just... How I am... When I do something wrong, even though I know it might not be my fault, or that others might not care about it, I say "I'm sorry," I guess to show that I know I did it wrong.. Same if I almost walk into someone on the sidewalk, even if it was not my fault. It's not because I'm actually sorry, I'm just being polite.

Now, am I being too polite? I don't know. To be honest, I think we're rather impolite in Denmark, at least compared to other places. In England, you say "please" after every other sentence, and though I know we say "tak" sometimes here, it seems far from consistent. It is not uncommon to see customers yell at service personal in stores, for something that was the customers fault, and it's not uncommon to see said service personal treat customers as if they'd really prefer if they were all shot.

To be honest, I think we'd avoid a lot troubles if people would care to be just a little more polite sometimes. Be prepared to, for politenes, share the blame, even if it wasn't your fault. And yes, just because it's polite! Of course, only minor cases, you shouldn't take the blame if your neighbour kill his wife, but I'm sure you get the point.

I'm not saying that there aren't politeness around, there is, and I think that a lot of people are very polite, helping moms with... You know those things you put your baby into?, into buses, offering you to jump ahead in the line if you only have one thing and such, and I truly appreciate that! It can make my day if someone is polite to me! See how little it takes, I'm sure many people feel the same.
So why can't we just do it all the time, why do we have to get rude and unpleasent if things doesn't go completely our way?

Get on with the "please", the "thank you", and maybe most of all: The "I'm sorry"!

Drawing

I'e always been drawing, though I'm not -that- good at it. Sure, I can draw a little, but I've always wanted to be better, I just never had the patience for it.
Well, lately I've been feeling much more for drawing, so today I went to pick up a new set of pencils and a sketchbook and then I'm gonna give it a serious go. Hopefully I can stick at it, drawing a few sketches every day instead of two every other month should improve my skills a lot, whch will eventually make it more fun for me to do, then I'll do it more, and... Well, it can only go up! ^^

If I can stick to it, that is, I have not exactly been known to always follow through with things...

Facebook...?

I've never really been much of a Facebook user... A bit more lately, as it sometimes can be fun enough to see what people in your life is doing, mainly my younger sisters actually. Oh no, I'm not one of those stalking, overprotective older sisters, but when I'm missing them, it's nice to see they're still doing ok without me being there.
I've been thinking a bit about the purpose of facebook. A few weeks ago, I was sure that it was just a way to see if your friends were suddenly "free on the market"... About a week after Alex and me broke up, I set my status there to single, and it didn't take more than a few hours for the first person to ask if I was interested in something, which in itself is ok I guess. My problem was that I haven't talked to this guy for a year. Why am I suddenly interesting, just because I'm single? I mean, if he -really- was interested, shouldn't he want to keep me in his life, even if I was taken... But yeah ok, I know that most guys, or girls for that matter, at my age is not exactly as ready to settle down as much as I am.
And what do you do when you think you might have found the right one, or at least someone who -could- very well be the right one, and he might think the same, but maybe not? I had almost forgotten all the uncertinty it brings to not be in a relationship, even if you like someone, and he likes you, it's a lot of cat-and-mouse... But I'm not gonna turn this in to a Sex and the City blog about my lovelife... It was Facebook I was talking about.

Right now, one of the only applications I really use is the "Pet Society". It's just this small little game where you have a pet and then can get money by visiting friends, to buy clothes and furnitures. Kind of cute, kind of pointless, as so many things else. But it's kind of nice as well, at least from time to time. Doesn't take much to just feed your pet and give him a bath now and then.
That and the "what are you thinking about?"-thing. The thing is, that one is very much like Twitter... But ok, who doesn't like to tell what they're doing and thinking about -all the time-? I guess I must, since I got a blog... And a twitter... And update it on facebook... And messenger...
God, I'm a narcissist <.<


Well, we knew that already...



Edit:
Oh, and another thing I'm wondering about is the "You might know..." function.. I was just checking it going through everyone people think I might know... And sure, I knew some of them... There was a lot I didn't, and even more that I might know who is, but that I have never talked to. And then there's a few who I actually know, but don't really want to talk to. There are usually those people from your past. Different people belong in different times of your life, and to be honest, I don't care all that much for the people I worked 4 months with in Mc. Donalds, even though a lot of them were probably great friends and colleagues at the time. And there are some that I really -didn't- like, so why would I want to be friends with them on Facebook? I've never really been a huge fan of "let's add everyone we know so that it looks like we got 1945 friends, cause then people will think we're popular, and we'll feel better about ourself, yay"-deal... But sure, if it works for you. I have to admit that I have MANY people listed as friends in there, that I NEVER talk to, but it's mainly because I'm too polite to click no when people add me. Stupid really, but meh, to be honest, I don't really care who can see pictures of me from the last party I was at, or read that I'm currently thinking about my lack of money... Who cares anyway? I usually don't get drunk enough to do really stupid things anyway.

There are many more things I can talk about, regarding facebook, but I'll just save that for another day.

Rockstar

Wow, now my blog looks very... Dark... Maybe too dark :P I've just recently (read: yesterday) felt a need to make my life more... Rockstar :P Starting to wear my "leather" pants, white t-shirts with prints and red sunglasses! Just need some lenses so I can actually use the sunglasses :P When the sun start shining that is.
Now, this might sound a bit fake... That I "chose" what style I want... But really, don't we all? We always create usself, by the music we hear, the clothes we were, the people we see etc... I like creating myself, like changing my preferences from time to time... My closet is getting far too big because of that, yes, but sometimes, you just feel... boring, you know? And you need to do something new! I have that feeling very much right now.
Maybe it¨s because things have ended with Alex... We've been together for what, 2½ year or something, and I know it's not forever, but it still feels like a long time to me... I just need a few changes now, it's spring, it feels like it's time for a new chapter to start, and what better way to mark that than by buying some new clothes, dressing up and having fun? :P


I need a red lipstick btw... And some new wetlook pants, the ones I got are kind of broken... Can you say that about clothes?