I'e always been drawing, though I'm not -that- good at it. Sure, I can draw a little, but I've always wanted to be better, I just never had the patience for it.
Well, lately I've been feeling much more for drawing, so today I went to pick up a new set of pencils and a sketchbook and then I'm gonna give it a serious go. Hopefully I can stick at it, drawing a few sketches every day instead of two every other month should improve my skills a lot, whch will eventually make it more fun for me to do, then I'll do it more, and... Well, it can only go up! ^^
If I can stick to it, that is, I have not exactly been known to always follow through with things...
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Facebook...?
I've never really been much of a Facebook user... A bit more lately, as it sometimes can be fun enough to see what people in your life is doing, mainly my younger sisters actually. Oh no, I'm not one of those stalking, overprotective older sisters, but when I'm missing them, it's nice to see they're still doing ok without me being there.
I've been thinking a bit about the purpose of facebook. A few weeks ago, I was sure that it was just a way to see if your friends were suddenly "free on the market"... About a week after Alex and me broke up, I set my status there to single, and it didn't take more than a few hours for the first person to ask if I was interested in something, which in itself is ok I guess. My problem was that I haven't talked to this guy for a year. Why am I suddenly interesting, just because I'm single? I mean, if he -really- was interested, shouldn't he want to keep me in his life, even if I was taken... But yeah ok, I know that most guys, or girls for that matter, at my age is not exactly as ready to settle down as much as I am.
And what do you do when you think you might have found the right one, or at least someone who -could- very well be the right one, and he might think the same, but maybe not? I had almost forgotten all the uncertinty it brings to not be in a relationship, even if you like someone, and he likes you, it's a lot of cat-and-mouse... But I'm not gonna turn this in to a Sex and the City blog about my lovelife... It was Facebook I was talking about.
Right now, one of the only applications I really use is the "Pet Society". It's just this small little game where you have a pet and then can get money by visiting friends, to buy clothes and furnitures. Kind of cute, kind of pointless, as so many things else. But it's kind of nice as well, at least from time to time. Doesn't take much to just feed your pet and give him a bath now and then.
That and the "what are you thinking about?"-thing. The thing is, that one is very much like Twitter... But ok, who doesn't like to tell what they're doing and thinking about -all the time-? I guess I must, since I got a blog... And a twitter... And update it on facebook... And messenger...
God, I'm a narcissist <.<
Well, we knew that already...
Edit:
Oh, and another thing I'm wondering about is the "You might know..." function.. I was just checking it going through everyone people think I might know... And sure, I knew some of them... There was a lot I didn't, and even more that I might know who is, but that I have never talked to. And then there's a few who I actually know, but don't really want to talk to. There are usually those people from your past. Different people belong in different times of your life, and to be honest, I don't care all that much for the people I worked 4 months with in Mc. Donalds, even though a lot of them were probably great friends and colleagues at the time. And there are some that I really -didn't- like, so why would I want to be friends with them on Facebook? I've never really been a huge fan of "let's add everyone we know so that it looks like we got 1945 friends, cause then people will think we're popular, and we'll feel better about ourself, yay"-deal... But sure, if it works for you. I have to admit that I have MANY people listed as friends in there, that I NEVER talk to, but it's mainly because I'm too polite to click no when people add me. Stupid really, but meh, to be honest, I don't really care who can see pictures of me from the last party I was at, or read that I'm currently thinking about my lack of money... Who cares anyway? I usually don't get drunk enough to do really stupid things anyway.
There are many more things I can talk about, regarding facebook, but I'll just save that for another day.
I've been thinking a bit about the purpose of facebook. A few weeks ago, I was sure that it was just a way to see if your friends were suddenly "free on the market"... About a week after Alex and me broke up, I set my status there to single, and it didn't take more than a few hours for the first person to ask if I was interested in something, which in itself is ok I guess. My problem was that I haven't talked to this guy for a year. Why am I suddenly interesting, just because I'm single? I mean, if he -really- was interested, shouldn't he want to keep me in his life, even if I was taken... But yeah ok, I know that most guys, or girls for that matter, at my age is not exactly as ready to settle down as much as I am.
And what do you do when you think you might have found the right one, or at least someone who -could- very well be the right one, and he might think the same, but maybe not? I had almost forgotten all the uncertinty it brings to not be in a relationship, even if you like someone, and he likes you, it's a lot of cat-and-mouse... But I'm not gonna turn this in to a Sex and the City blog about my lovelife... It was Facebook I was talking about.
Right now, one of the only applications I really use is the "Pet Society". It's just this small little game where you have a pet and then can get money by visiting friends, to buy clothes and furnitures. Kind of cute, kind of pointless, as so many things else. But it's kind of nice as well, at least from time to time. Doesn't take much to just feed your pet and give him a bath now and then.
That and the "what are you thinking about?"-thing. The thing is, that one is very much like Twitter... But ok, who doesn't like to tell what they're doing and thinking about -all the time-? I guess I must, since I got a blog... And a twitter... And update it on facebook... And messenger...
God, I'm a narcissist <.<
Well, we knew that already...
Edit:
Oh, and another thing I'm wondering about is the "You might know..." function.. I was just checking it going through everyone people think I might know... And sure, I knew some of them... There was a lot I didn't, and even more that I might know who is, but that I have never talked to. And then there's a few who I actually know, but don't really want to talk to. There are usually those people from your past. Different people belong in different times of your life, and to be honest, I don't care all that much for the people I worked 4 months with in Mc. Donalds, even though a lot of them were probably great friends and colleagues at the time. And there are some that I really -didn't- like, so why would I want to be friends with them on Facebook? I've never really been a huge fan of "let's add everyone we know so that it looks like we got 1945 friends, cause then people will think we're popular, and we'll feel better about ourself, yay"-deal... But sure, if it works for you. I have to admit that I have MANY people listed as friends in there, that I NEVER talk to, but it's mainly because I'm too polite to click no when people add me. Stupid really, but meh, to be honest, I don't really care who can see pictures of me from the last party I was at, or read that I'm currently thinking about my lack of money... Who cares anyway? I usually don't get drunk enough to do really stupid things anyway.
There are many more things I can talk about, regarding facebook, but I'll just save that for another day.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Rockstar
Wow, now my blog looks very... Dark... Maybe too dark :P I've just recently (read: yesterday) felt a need to make my life more... Rockstar :P Starting to wear my "leather" pants, white t-shirts with prints and red sunglasses! Just need some lenses so I can actually use the sunglasses :P When the sun start shining that is.
Now, this might sound a bit fake... That I "chose" what style I want... But really, don't we all? We always create usself, by the music we hear, the clothes we were, the people we see etc... I like creating myself, like changing my preferences from time to time... My closet is getting far too big because of that, yes, but sometimes, you just feel... boring, you know? And you need to do something new! I have that feeling very much right now.
Maybe it¨s because things have ended with Alex... We've been together for what, 2½ year or something, and I know it's not forever, but it still feels like a long time to me... I just need a few changes now, it's spring, it feels like it's time for a new chapter to start, and what better way to mark that than by buying some new clothes, dressing up and having fun? :P
I need a red lipstick btw... And some new wetlook pants, the ones I got are kind of broken... Can you say that about clothes?
Now, this might sound a bit fake... That I "chose" what style I want... But really, don't we all? We always create usself, by the music we hear, the clothes we were, the people we see etc... I like creating myself, like changing my preferences from time to time... My closet is getting far too big because of that, yes, but sometimes, you just feel... boring, you know? And you need to do something new! I have that feeling very much right now.
Maybe it¨s because things have ended with Alex... We've been together for what, 2½ year or something, and I know it's not forever, but it still feels like a long time to me... I just need a few changes now, it's spring, it feels like it's time for a new chapter to start, and what better way to mark that than by buying some new clothes, dressing up and having fun? :P
I need a red lipstick btw... And some new wetlook pants, the ones I got are kind of broken... Can you say that about clothes?
Taking up the blog again...
So, I discovered I had a reader :O I pretty much stopped the blog since I didn't think anyone was reading it, but since someone is, I might take it up again :)
Also, hopefully, things will be a bit less confusing to me now, last time I wrote, I was having a slightly tough time, trying to figure out what to do about the fact that even though I loved my boyfriend dearly, we wanted to go in very different directions, him wanting to focuse on his music, and me wanting a serious, longterm relationship...
Last week, we, or well, mainly me, desided that it was probably best if we continued seperate ways, well, all the details are a longer story, it was sad cause I still care a great deal for him, and he for me, but I think it was the right thing, and we're both kind of happy now, still talking very well together and hopefully remaining close friends :)
So... Well yeah, as mentioned, I was kind of down at that time, so my blog turned out a bit gloomy... Hopefully it will be more cheerfull now ^^
I got a job at CAVI, Center for Advanced Visualisation and Interaction, doing... Different kinds of stuff, helping with projects and what ever they need :) It's really nice, friendly people, interesting work and all that, and pretty decent money ^^
Have to work all this weekend though, so will be busy, but it's ok, it will likely be interesting as well...
Well, this blog wasn't supposed to be a "I've done this and this"-kind of thing, it was supposed to be anout thoughts and... Stuff... So I'll see if I can return to that ^^
Also, hopefully, things will be a bit less confusing to me now, last time I wrote, I was having a slightly tough time, trying to figure out what to do about the fact that even though I loved my boyfriend dearly, we wanted to go in very different directions, him wanting to focuse on his music, and me wanting a serious, longterm relationship...
Last week, we, or well, mainly me, desided that it was probably best if we continued seperate ways, well, all the details are a longer story, it was sad cause I still care a great deal for him, and he for me, but I think it was the right thing, and we're both kind of happy now, still talking very well together and hopefully remaining close friends :)
So... Well yeah, as mentioned, I was kind of down at that time, so my blog turned out a bit gloomy... Hopefully it will be more cheerfull now ^^
I got a job at CAVI, Center for Advanced Visualisation and Interaction, doing... Different kinds of stuff, helping with projects and what ever they need :) It's really nice, friendly people, interesting work and all that, and pretty decent money ^^
Have to work all this weekend though, so will be busy, but it's ok, it will likely be interesting as well...
Well, this blog wasn't supposed to be a "I've done this and this"-kind of thing, it was supposed to be anout thoughts and... Stuff... So I'll see if I can return to that ^^
Thursday, February 19, 2009
VIII:
Hmm, the "daily" thing is still not going that well... Gonna have to shape up a little.
I'm still feeling a bit down, my friend seem to have stopped talking to me completely and it's just a mess... I hate having him angry at me, especially for something I didn't do, but I don't know what to do about it... So yeah, feeling down, have lost my appetite and such... But hopefully things will turn out ok in the end...
On a slighty less gloomy subject, I'm going to visist my family later today, my sister is going to sing at a school musical tomorrow, so of course I have to see that. I'm feeling a bit proud of her :)
To be honest, I don't really feel like writing right now, so it'll just be a short one. I will try to write again later to make up for the fact that I didn't write yesterday...
I'm still feeling a bit down, my friend seem to have stopped talking to me completely and it's just a mess... I hate having him angry at me, especially for something I didn't do, but I don't know what to do about it... So yeah, feeling down, have lost my appetite and such... But hopefully things will turn out ok in the end...
On a slighty less gloomy subject, I'm going to visist my family later today, my sister is going to sing at a school musical tomorrow, so of course I have to see that. I'm feeling a bit proud of her :)
To be honest, I don't really feel like writing right now, so it'll just be a short one. I will try to write again later to make up for the fact that I didn't write yesterday...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
VII: Trust
Didn't write yesterday because of some personal stuff, and being busy. As you might have collected from my previous post, I'm a little down.
The subject of today's post will be colored by that. The subject is trust. It's such a tricky thing... You might know who you trust, but in theory, you can't know who you -can- trust. That's what's trust is all about. We often portrait it very black and white... Who can you trust and who can't you... And either you trust someone or you don't. I really don't think it's that simple. To the question of if you can trust someone... Well, I'm not gonna comment on that right now. This is more about if you actually trust someone. The reason I talk about this right now, is because someone I care a lot about doesn't trust me. He think I might have done something to hurt him, even though I would never, ever do that. And I can't prove that I didn't do it. I don't even have the smallest explanation to what could actually have happened, it's all a mystery for me. I can't blame him for not trusting me, because the situation could look as if I've done something. Maybe not intentionally cruel, but then at least thoughtless, that ended up hurting someone unintended. And if I really had, I would ask for forgivness... But I haven't, I know it's just my word, but I haven't done anything that could have this effect. Which against means that either someone is lying, or there's one of my friends who's hacked my computer or something... Which means there's someone -I- can't trust.
It's all very confusing. As I said, I can't blame him for not trusting me, because I don't have anything to prove that I didn't do it. Except for the fact that it would be unfathomly stupid of me, because there's every risk of it comig back to bite me if I actually -had- done it. And you can call me much, but I'm not -that- stupid. And even more: I know his situation, I'm pretty much in the same, and I would -HATE- if someone did to me, what was done to him. I would be so angry and frustrated, and I would probably lash out too... Even if it hurts me, a lot, that he's angry with me fr something I haven't done... That I can't make him believe that I didn't do it.
Now, here comes the question about if you trust someone or not. Because he say he an't trust me... And from his point of view, he can't. Only I know that he can, and what can I do with that? That doesn't really help anything, he's still hurt and angry and doesn't know if I'm lying, and I'm still hurt and confused and paranoid.
I don't know what I can say to make the situation better. I wish there was some thing I could say to make him believe me, but I can't... I hate to see him in pain, I hate it ore because I think I might have caused it.
I don't know what to do...
The subject of today's post will be colored by that. The subject is trust. It's such a tricky thing... You might know who you trust, but in theory, you can't know who you -can- trust. That's what's trust is all about. We often portrait it very black and white... Who can you trust and who can't you... And either you trust someone or you don't. I really don't think it's that simple. To the question of if you can trust someone... Well, I'm not gonna comment on that right now. This is more about if you actually trust someone. The reason I talk about this right now, is because someone I care a lot about doesn't trust me. He think I might have done something to hurt him, even though I would never, ever do that. And I can't prove that I didn't do it. I don't even have the smallest explanation to what could actually have happened, it's all a mystery for me. I can't blame him for not trusting me, because the situation could look as if I've done something. Maybe not intentionally cruel, but then at least thoughtless, that ended up hurting someone unintended. And if I really had, I would ask for forgivness... But I haven't, I know it's just my word, but I haven't done anything that could have this effect. Which against means that either someone is lying, or there's one of my friends who's hacked my computer or something... Which means there's someone -I- can't trust.
It's all very confusing. As I said, I can't blame him for not trusting me, because I don't have anything to prove that I didn't do it. Except for the fact that it would be unfathomly stupid of me, because there's every risk of it comig back to bite me if I actually -had- done it. And you can call me much, but I'm not -that- stupid. And even more: I know his situation, I'm pretty much in the same, and I would -HATE- if someone did to me, what was done to him. I would be so angry and frustrated, and I would probably lash out too... Even if it hurts me, a lot, that he's angry with me fr something I haven't done... That I can't make him believe that I didn't do it.
Now, here comes the question about if you trust someone or not. Because he say he an't trust me... And from his point of view, he can't. Only I know that he can, and what can I do with that? That doesn't really help anything, he's still hurt and angry and doesn't know if I'm lying, and I'm still hurt and confused and paranoid.
I don't know what I can say to make the situation better. I wish there was some thing I could say to make him believe me, but I can't... I hate to see him in pain, I hate it ore because I think I might have caused it.
I don't know what to do...
Sunday, February 15, 2009
VI: I'm the soulweeper
This is pretty mcuch how I feel. In reverse kind of.
Soulweeper by Volbeat:
Well I found you girl, and see how it turned
I'm so sorry that I put your heart on fire
But I love you too
And I know I should've told you
Way back then
That I wasn't ready yet
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
I'm the soulweeper
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
Well I thought I was
Bursted for this one
I'm a fool in pain
and I feel so ashamed
Well I always said
Nothing was meant to be
And I still do baby
And I don't like to be
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
I'm the soulweeper
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
Well a new day is born and I like it
Long lost pictures come to life one more time
Well I know that you sit alone, and that hurts
But we'll always be friends, that's for sure
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
I'm the soulweeper
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
Soulweeper by Volbeat:
Well I found you girl, and see how it turned
I'm so sorry that I put your heart on fire
But I love you too
And I know I should've told you
Way back then
That I wasn't ready yet
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
I'm the soulweeper
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
Well I thought I was
Bursted for this one
I'm a fool in pain
and I feel so ashamed
Well I always said
Nothing was meant to be
And I still do baby
And I don't like to be
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
I'm the soulweeper
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
Well a new day is born and I like it
Long lost pictures come to life one more time
Well I know that you sit alone, and that hurts
But we'll always be friends, that's for sure
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
I'm the soulweeper
So sad, so afraid, so frantic
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)